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But real love doesn’t have to be “proven” that way. It requires two people to respect each other and make sacrifices.
If a guy and a girl are really in love, they would certainly not ask each other to assume the risks that go with teenage or premarital sex. It’s one thing for a couple to say “I love you, let’s have sex.” That’s not commitment. Well, the letters are already pouring in from University of Iowa students with more questions based on my talk.
Here are a few highlights: “How do you break the routine of hook-ups and try to find a quality relationship? These kinds of benefits require trust—and trust takes time to build.
” Think about what you want from a relationship: Mutual appreciation? This, to me, is one of the biggest problems with the hook-up culture: It skips over all the emotional relationship and trust building and jumps into a physical and very personal act without the emotional backup.
Another argument would say, if you really love someone you should prove it to them there and then. And it can be confused for desire or a heat-of-the-moment crush.
And don’t be above being a bit of a tease: You can hang out with a guy or girl at the bar as if you might go home with them, and then say—give me your number I’ll call you tomorrow.
But the arguments for chastity aren’t, “don’t do it,” “sex is dirty”—they are about valuing yourself, protecting yourself from making premature commitments and keeping sacred the sexual union for marriage.
“If you know you want to marry someone, does that make it more OK to have sex before marriage? Because if you know that you love someone and that you’re going to be sharing the gift of sex with them in a few months, why do you have to wait?
If they say “let’s go home together now,” you can say you think they’re really great and you’d like to get to know then better—over coffee the next day.
This does a few things: First of all, it’s different, so you’ve got their attention.
“Does the Church think it’s better to lead a chaste life and that marriage is just a second-best option?