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” This gives the child respect and responsibility for their actions.I can’t tell you the number of times I hear that phrase when around other parents, even though it is highly ineffective.You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.
I have spent a good deal of time on articles on the difference between Praise vs. This can sometimes present itself in an argumentative manner, but this is actually a normal part of development.
When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.
I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.
Telling a child that they can’t do something makes them prove that they can, by telling you or showing you that it is in fact possible.
Telling a kid to not do something makes them want to argue or rebel.
First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.